i can't believe that my last post was about sending 2017 on it's way, with all the good things i've learned from it, and yet so far this year:
- i'm still scared of doing hard things.
- it still drives me bonkers that i still can't plan everything ahead 100% of the time
- i never thought of myself of being impatient, and now that's a whole other weakness i'm trying to deal with myself (oyy).
- im so busy, it's like i'm tripping over my feet sometimes
- i've caught myself being selfish a couple times
- and there has definitely been some times where i gave up hope and was just pretty bland about what's in store
so update on life: i know everything i've said is a bit of a drag, and also completely different from the hopeful-happy-go-lucky post I wrote in December. and i'm not calling for attention or anything like that. i just wanna share what i'm learning here. i'm learning how to endure. i'm learning that everything will run it's course eventually. i'm learning to be present. i'm learning to try, and to try to have a cheerful heart. i feel like i've been exposed to a lot of my weaknesses lately, and it's causing a lot of vulnerability. but even with that vulnerability, you still have to keep chugging along and just try your best. it's the constant struggle of mine lol.
i hope whoever is reading this, i hope you know that you're not the only one who carries burdens on your shoulders all the while having a smile on through it all. i hope you know that you're doing great and that there are good things to come. i've connected the dots when i look back and i feel just so grateful for how everything's led me from one good thing to the other. there are good things to come for sure.
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