bittersweet

 

i am soon to be closing this chapter in my life titled "forever in school". almost terrified of what will come next, i was anxious about what the next step would be for me. the questions of where i would work or who would hire me during a pandemic arose and really clouded my hopeful attitude. i tend to think of the worst outcome so that if it happens in real life, i am fully prepared to digest it and roll with it. but, i never give myself enough grace to think of the best outcome. and here is the best outcome: i got a job! 

i've been interning at a residential interior design firm since the beginning of January so i can complete the needed 200 hours for one of my courses, and they saw me fit to be part of their team and offered me a job midway through my internship! now, i'm not sharing this to boast. i am sharing this because i am rooting for you. the same way others have rooted for me. i have had it with final projects, deadlines, discussion posts, and assignments. i grudgingly turned in my finals at the end of the semester pulling off long hours, on an empty stomach (because i just didn't have the appetite or time to eat or have the motivation to), and thin patience. all of that plus work, an internship(s), social life, and my own personal mountains to climb.  all that was the bitter stuff. 

disclaimer: i know that there are others who are experiencing tougher challenges. i'm hoping you can take even a fraction of what i'm learning by doing the hard things (what i consider to be hard).

here comes the sweet. being able to literally almost taste the finish line. the very thing that makes all the hard work, the break downs, and the confusions worth it. i had a really beautiful conversation with one of my best friends the other day about evolving. how we are going to go through a lot of uncomfortable things so we can be molded and evolve into better versions of ourselves. also how everyone goes through different seasons in life and we need to take what we learn from that season and apply it to the next season. 

so yes, i got a job! and i am soo excited to unfold this next season of life. but i guess overall what i am trying to say is, you may still be in that bitter part of your season. it might linger a little longer or it might not. it might ask too much of you, it might push you to your absolute limit, it might even force you to loose yourself in the motions. but either way, to whoever is reading this, you are evolving, and growing, and taking in whatever this season has to offer you. you may think of the worst possible outcome, but don't forget to be kind to yourself enough to think of the best. 

xoxoxo